While this list may seem intuitive, it apparently isn't.
1. Red Eyeshadow. I once saw a girl wearing red eyeshadow to a dance (I think this was in high school?). I nearly had a heart attack!! It looked like she had pink eye so I stayed the hell away. Then I realized pink eye is never symmetric in both eyes. Or in both eyes. Because have you ever known anyone who has pink eye in both eyes? Yeah, me neither.
2. People at bars who pee on you. Yeah, this one time I was at the Jug around 10pm, and this guy was apparently really drunk (for some reason, people tend to start drinking really early on March 17 every year, I don't know why) and this guy totally did that. The bouncers threw him into the snow and gave me a shot and a t-shirt. I don't know if the shot was free because I didn't pay for anything that night. Oops.
3. Limes that look all nice and juicy on the outside, but when you squeeze them, NOTHING COMES OUT. What a tease! This, I find, mostly happens when limes are really old. Or if they are key limes in which cause they are always DRY.
4. People who are fake-busy on GChat. Come on. Everyone knows you're not really busy. If you were really busy, you wouldn't even be signed into GChat. (Sometimes I go fake-busy but only because I'm simultaneously signed into AIM and it never goes idle)
5. Haters. There are some people, I won't name names, but they exist, who think that my time spent excessively lazing around and traveling would be better spent getting a part-time job. Really? Really? Really? Why would I earn money when I can ~spend~ money?
6. The number 6. REALLY. Does it have to be so sixy?
7. Fabio Haters. FABIO IS THE BEST. He is soo dreamy and sexy, with luscious blond hair you just want to run your fingers through all the time.
8. Koala Bears. God they're creepy.
Your blog has become a new source of joy in my life. I miss you on LJ, though. And I fully agree with numbers 1,2, 5 and 7. When I worked at the Child Care Center a kid peed on me. I didn't get anything free for it, though. I had to spray bleach on my legs.
ReplyDeleteAnd when I was student teaching one of my students totally had pink eye in both eyes. I asked him about it when he came into school in the morning itching both of his uber-red eyes and he was like, "My eyes are red because I'm tired." And then he went home later that day because it was a raging case of pink eye. Clearly.