I need a little Fabulous, is that so wrong?

High School Musical (HSM) is a wonderful set of movies aimed at young children (mostly girls?) and holds a set of sober values...right? WRONG!

It's actually a tool to make little kids become skanky!! That's right, SKANKY! While at first glance, the lyrics and themes are nothing more than something a 3rd grader might write, more scrutinizing of the films shows skankifiers that will un-Disneyfy ANYTHING.

1. Ryan and Sharpay in Everything
Ryan and Sharpay are twins, aka RELATED. They like to star in all the plays that East High School produces. In the first HSM, the play's main theme is a song called "What I've Been Looking For" (which ends a preposition, but we'll ignore that for now) which contains lyrics like "I've never had someone that knows me like you do the way you do" which can easily be placed in any love song. So this implies that Ryan and Sharpay are incestuous!! Because, let's be honest, high school productions ain't no fifth grade renditions of The Sound of Music where all the kids snicker and giggle when Leisl has to twirl into Rolfe's arms (sorry Sara and Johnny!). In high school, there are KISSING SCENES! Ew.

2. A Night to Remember
This one is a no brainer. In HSM3, the song "A Night to Remember" is about the Senior Prom. As we know from movies like American Pie, Senior Prom is often when movie adolescents lose their virginity. And with lyrics like "On the night of nights, you know we're gonna do it right," it's easy to imagine what "do it, right?" means (ok, maybe I added a superfluous comma and question mark). Yes, they will do it.

3. Can I have this Dance?
In HSM3, Gabriella's dress flies up a bunch of times and you can see her naughty bits. Just saying.

4. Troy Bolton
I basically get really turned on every time he sings. Or takes his shirt off. Or walks around.
*swoon*